I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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