whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
someone owes me an orgasm
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We had to coat check the pizza.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize