I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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