but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
