SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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