I wanna passion pit in your ass
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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