Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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