I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
