Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize