I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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