apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
