I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
