Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
