i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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