Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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