Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
