i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
