jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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