Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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