I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
