it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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