You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
As shirtless as possible
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
