yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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