I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
