turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
