Kiss
Puke
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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