party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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