Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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