I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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