discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
