don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
