I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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