She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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