Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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