dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
