Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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