Me. At least after what I've been through.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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