There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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