O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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