It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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