He is an equal opportunity slut.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
