Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize