had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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