u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so that wasnt chicken after all
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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