...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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