That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
