Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize