If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
