Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
