At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
