and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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