I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
