That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
