i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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