Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
