that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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