Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
