i just identified you from a description of your pipe
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
