So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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