It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
