she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
