when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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